When nursing your newborn hurts more than it helps
Published on 13 August 2025
It’s normal to feel unsure in the beginning. Breastfeeding takes practice, support and time – and you are not alone.
Breastfeeding is often painted as serene and instinctive – a quiet moment between mother and child. But for many new mums, those first attempts can feel anything but. Soreness, confusion and doubt are common, especially when things do not go as smoothly as expected.
“Breastfeeding is a learning process,” said Ms Nurhanesah A Rahman, Senior Staff Nurse, National University Polyclinics (NUP). She is also an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. “It takes time for both mother and newborn to establish a comfortable feeding routine.”
A learning curve for two
The first week is usually the hardest. “Common issues include engorged breasts, sore nipples and difficulty maintaining a proper latch,” said Ms Nurhanesah.
Tenderness is expected in the early days. But sharp, persistent pain may point to a poor latch – one of the most common causes of nipple discomfort. “A shallow latch often causes soreness and should be addressed immediately,” she said.
Trying different positions or bringing the baby up to breast level can help. And if the pain persists, it is best not to struggle in silence. “A certified lactation consultant can assess the latch and guide mothers through any difficulties,” she added.
Many new parents are also surprised by how often newborns feed – every two to three hours or up to 12 times a day. “Watch your baby, not the clock,” said Ms Nurhanesah. “A well-fed baby will appear content after feeding, produce enough wet diapers each day and gain weight steadily.”
If it feels like your baby is nursing around the clock, you are not alone. “Aside from satisfying hunger, babies also nurse for comfort, connection and security,” she explained.
The bond often begins the moment a baby is placed on the mother’s chest after delivery. “When a newborn is placed directly on the mother’s chest after delivery, it triggers instinctive feeding behaviours and supports the first latch,” said Ms Nurhanesah. “It boosts maternal hormones and stimulates milk production.”
Skin-to-skin contact is not just emotionally grounding – it also helps regulate the baby’s temperature, heart rate and blood sugar, giving the newborn a stable start.
Making milk, not magic
Concerns about low milk supply are common but often misplaced. “The key to establishing good supply is frequent, effective feeding,” said Ms Nurhanesah. “Start latching as soon after birth as possible, feed on demand and avoid formula unless medically needed.”
Pumping has its place, but early use can backfire. “We usually recommend direct breastfeeding during the first month, as early pumping when latching well may lead to overstimulation and engorgement,” she said. Once breastfeeding is established, pumping can begin to fit in with work demands or other needs.
And if you are storing milk, keep a close eye on time and temperature. Ms Nurhanesah said freshly pumped milk can stay at room temperature for four hours, in the fridge (at 4°C) for four days, or frozen (at -18°C) for up to 12 months. Labelling and dating each container is key to keeping it safe.
Combination feeding – using both breast and bottle – can work with the right timing and method. “Introduce the bottle when the baby is calm, not overly hungry, and hold them upright to give them comfort and control,” she said.
She also advised using paced bottle feeding – offering milk slowly with pauses – to mimic the flow of breastfeeding. This helps reduce the risk of bottle preference, and is a useful approach for working mums or those who need additional support. “It’s especially useful when mothers have to be away or need support from other family members in feeding,” said Ms Nurhanesah.
To ease the transition, start a few weeks before returning to work. “Begin by pumping during the day and gradually replacing direct feeds with bottle sessions,” she said. “Avoid introducing a bottle just days before returning to work, as this can increase the risk of bottle refusal.”
And don’t forget to speak with your boss ahead of time. “Discuss pumping breaks, a private space and proper milk storage with your employer early on,” she said. “Planning ahead makes the transition smoother for both mum and baby.”
Support makes a difference
No one breastfeeds in a vacuum. “Husbands and family members play a vital role,” said Ms Nurhanesah. “They can help with household chores, take care of the baby while mum rests and provide reassurance during challenging moments.”
The early days can feel isolating, especially when you are sore, sleep-deprived and flooded with advice. But even small gestures of support can lighten the load.
And if breastfeeding does not go according to plan, it is okay to feel frustrated. “Don’t give up on a bad day,” she said. “Breastfeeding is a learning journey. Take it one feed at a time. Focus on what you’re giving your child, not on what you feel you’re lacking.”
Above all, trust your process. “Remember that every individual breastfeeding journey is different,” said Ms Nurhanesah. “Perseverance is key. Give yourself and your baby time to find your rhythm. Do what works for you. Always remember – you are doing your very best.”
In consultation with Senior Staff Nurse Nurhanesah A Rahman, NUP.
